Christmas Day 2008

Merry Christmas! What a wonderful, magical day! Christmas with an almost-4-year-old and 15-month-old is a special, sweet time. We were blessed with a happy, peaceful day at home. Scott, Nancy, and David stopped by for brunch and more presents! We’re all feeling rather spoiled! Thanks for all of the great gifts, everyone!

Opening presents with Daddy (note the matching jammies from Aunt Amy -- too cute!)

Our kids must have been very good, because Santa sure did right by them. He brought Brooke the four things on her list: a bike, a tennis racket, and Jack and Alfie (two Thomas the Tank Engine characters). Bridger got a 4-wheeler riding toy, a T-ball set, and the classic Fisher Price garage from when we were kids. He knew just what to do with them all, too!

Santa came!

So who remembers this classic toy? An oldie but goodie!


Bridger tries on Brad's new hat.

Here's a video of "the Best Present of All!!!" (so-called by Brooke... score for Uncle David)!


The only time we left the house was for a swinging and bike-riding break!
Our tough little guy (Note the warm weather! No white Christmas in Atlanta!)


Livestrong, Brooke Armstrong!

One of the sweetest times of the day for me was our Christmas dinner tonight, just the 4 of us. We even used the fancy crystal. We sang Happy Birthday to Jesus and enjoyed the cake we had decorated for Him. I had asked Brooke what kind of cake she thought was Jesus’ favorite. I was going for chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or something like that… but I’d forgotten that a child doesn’t think in flavors (e.g., her favorite ice cream is “pink” ice cream – not “strawberry”). Her sweet 3-year-old mind went to the best cake ever for Jesus – a Thomas cake! So, a Thomas cake it was!

We had lots of fun decorating it yesterday and it was a good way to teach her that even in all the hustle and bustle of the season, Jesus is worth taking the time to make a birthday cake. (Okay, so we didn't get all of our wreaths hung this year, but Jesus had a cake!) I think I see another tradition forming... I wonder what Jesus’ favorite cake will be next year?
"Peep, peep, Jesus!"

Yesterday she asked me, “How will we get the cake to Jesus?” I explained that Jesus lives inside of us in our hearts, and when we eat the cake, he gets some, too. It worked for her! She told us tonight that Jesus was getting the cake inside of her. As we ate the cake, Brooke was in a very sweet, contemplative mood and was asking us lots of questions about God and Jesus. It was a precious time. I am honored to be married to a man with such wise, gentle answers to her sweet questions.

I feel so very blessed; the material goods are only the smallest beginning of all we've been given. God has done a great work in me and our family.

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Fabulous Fall

Even though we're all in the swing of the Christmas season, technically it is still fall until December 21, so I'm right on schedule for a much-needed Fall post! Our trip to Boyd's orchard in Kentucky was very fun! After all, what's better than wagon riding with cousin Elizabeth and playing in hundreds of pumpkins?



Thanks to our neighbor's oak tree, we were blessed with lots of very pretty leaves! Brooke was a good raker and pine cone gatherer, but her true talents shown in leaf compaction and wagon riding! Bridger enjoyed toddling around and sporting his Kentucky pride. I try to get the kids outside as much as I can when the weather cooperates. The most-requested activity is swinging "super high in the sky" and "super high for a baby!" All swing-pushers are extra-welcome to come visit! Thanksgiving was lots of fun. Brooke and Grandmother had made hats together for the occasion and everyone was a good sport. The food was very yummy and we were very thankful! And finally, check out Bridger's new favorite game! He'll go into the bathroom and turn the sink on himself.

Yes, he was fine from the little tumble at the end. Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of the part where he leans over the edge of the counter -- feet dangling -- and sticks his face in the water, then looks up at himself in the mirror and laughs and laughs... and then repeats it all over again! I have to remember to close the door unless I'm up for changing a wriggly, soaking toddler who didn't want to stop his fun!

Happy Halloween from the Bear Family!

For the past two years, we've all dressed up as a family for Halloween and I've carved a special jack-o-lantern. Looks like we have a tradition! The Bear family has officially adopted Goldilocks!

Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Baby Bear and Goldilocks went on a trick-or-treating walk together last night. Although Brad really wanted to be Goldilocks, Brooke convinced him that she'd make a much better blond-haired little girl. We bought a set of sponge curlers and even a clip-on hairpiece for the occasion. Tres chic! I even got to use the curlers for my costume, too! And I did get a new dress from Goodwill, too -- no, that was not in my closet! And yes, those are pillows under Brad's and my clothes.

Our Bear-o-lantern:

Happy Birthday, Baby!!!

Yes! We made it!!! Hooray!!! Today is Bridger's first birthday. What a year!

Fortunately for the blog, his party was on Saturday, so we have birthday pictures ready to go.

We've reached a lot of milestones latetly. He took his first steps on August 6 and has steadily gained control over the last few weeks. In the last week he made THE shift -- walking now constitutes the majority of his transportation. He has progressed past the Frankenstein/zombie walk (arms outstretched in front) to the drunken sailor amble. Very cute!

We are also on Day #5 without bottles! AND, I quit pumping two weeks ago in anticipation of his birthday, our New York trip, and the busier school year schedule as a leader in BSF. What a relief to have that done with! (Forget you read that if it's TMI). On a good note, I've only had to buy one can of formula this year, having managed nicely on pumping and sample cans from the doctor. :) Bridger's one-year check-up is on Thursday and I anticipate him being cleared to make the switch to whole milk. He's also able to feed himself now -- not from a spoon, but entire diced meals of whatever we're eating. No more jars of baby food! Less stressful mealtimes! So we've officially entered the sweet spot -- when he's able to feed himself, walking, off of bottles, but thankfully still taking two naps a day, not squabbling with Brooke or into tantrums... yet. (We'll see how long it lasts!)

He has been very enamored with his birthday presents (and so has Brooke), especially the balloons that Brad bought. He'll grab onto several and walk around with them for a long time. He held one all through dinner after his party.

And, as a parting comparison shot, here are Brooke and Bridger, both at their first birthdays:

Lessons Learned from an Unexpected Detour

Here's what I learned from getting laid off in December. I will ignore the popular basics (write a good resume and have pros review it, use recruiters, etc.) and will focus on new stuff, critical stuff, or lesser known stuff. Some of them we succeeded in doing, others only partially, and a few we failed at. Hopefully you will do better after reading this!

Before you get laid off:

1) Identify and live by SOLID FINANCIAL PRINCIPLES.

a. Get out of debt. End of sermon. Read Dave Ramsey's book The Total Money Makeover if you need a plan or more motivation.

b. Live on less than you earn and become a saver. If you have a nice salary now, there is no guarantee that you will get another well-paying job! End of sermon.

c. Save up an emergency fund – at least 3 months of expenses in a checking, savings or money market fund. See Dave Ramsey's book The Total Money Makeover for emergency fund guidelines.

d. Now add HEALTHCARE COVERAGE for 3 months to your emergency fund. This is easy to forget because most of us salaried employees don't write a check for it on a regular basis, and it is a major expense.

2) Prepare your Professional Network.

A lot of you engineers out there hate this one, and I fully understand. You don't want to be a schmoozer, you hate chit-chat and a lot of the relationship-maintaining stuff that you see the "suits" doing. But it's not sleazy, it's not hard, and it is immensely valuable.

Here's what networking means to me:

a. Remember every person you worked with at every company or school you attended.

b. Keep current contact information for these people.

c. Don't burn bridges.

That's all there is to it. You don't have to golf with people every weekend or do a lot of business lunches to maintain old friendships (although it certainly won't hurt).

Just REMEMBER people you have encountered, MAINTAIN a way to reach them when you need them, and INSURE that they will want to help you when you need help!

Here's how to build your network:

a. Write down everyone's name!

Before you leave your job, or immediately after getting "down-sized", take a sheet of paper and write down the name of every person at that company with whom you worked or communicated. Get up, walk around and look for people you missed. Scan the corporate address book for more names. Include clients, customers, partners, the guy who filled the vending machine, everybody. Don't get bogged down getting their contact info – initially just capture their names because YOU WILL FORGET THEM. My list from The Home Depot was written on a yellow legal pad, and filled 4 columns top-to-bottom, front-and-back.

It amazes me how quickly we forget. Are you young and in your first job? Trust me, get 3 or 4 jobs down the road and it will all get blurry.

b. Join the LinkedIn network at www.linkedin.com.

It's free and is just about the perfect networking tool. Probably the best feature is that everyone maintains their own contact information, which increases your odds of finding them 5 or 6 years from now when you are looking for a new job.

c. Make "Connections" on LinkedIn with all of those people on your list.

If they are not on LinkedIn, invite them to join.

No, I don't get any money from LinkedIn for promoting them. I did, however, land a great job because a recruiter FOUND me on LinkedIn.

3) Trust God to provide while times are good.

Remember that all good things come from Him and are His, not yours. Recognize that positive circumstances (like negative ones) are probably temporary. Expect hard times in the future. Then, when they happen you won't be surprised or disappointed.

Build your Faith (and fill your silos) when times are good to sustain you when times are not so good.

After the layoff:

1) Go to the unemployment office. Immediately.

a. I hate it, I really do. Going there makes me depressed every time, and is a real blow to the ego. But know this – THEY WILL NOT PAY YOU RETROACTIVELY for the weeks that pass before you drag yourself in there. Also, the money that you will be collecting comes from the employer who just screwed up your plans. Why not get every dollar from them that you are due? GO!

b. The maximum that you can collect (in Georgia) is $320/wk. If you make $50k or $500k/year, you are going to get $320/week. Plan accordingly.

c. If you saw the ordeal that George Costanza from Seinfeld went through at the unemployment office, don't worry. It isn't like that. They don't micro-manage you – in fact they will probably NEVER check up on you. You are supposed to keep records of who you apply for a job with, and do at least 2 a week. However, your chances of them ever auditing you are slim-to-none. And if they do, it's a cinch to pass it.

2) Kill the COBRA.

You've got to have healthcare coverage, but COBRA coverage will eat you alive. Unless you have a GUARANTEED job lined up, go first to the unemployment office, then to your computer and look up http://www.insweb.com/ to comparison shop for health insurance (I have not used insweb.com for health insurance, but did successfully get a great rate on our auto insurance there years ago).

Skip COBRA and get independent health insurance.

3) Work your network.

Remember all of that work you did setting up your network? Now is the time to reap the benefits! Here are some ways to use your network to find a job:

a. FIRST: Clearly define what job you want. Your friends won't be able to help you if you don't communicate clearly. Also, they will NOT spend a lot of time analyzing your wants/needs/skills/special abilities/experience. Would you, if the situation was reversed? Tell them "I want an I.T. Project Manager job, and I am PMP certified" or "I want to program in Java" or "I want a part-time evening shift while I finish school". Then your friends will gladly circulate the word around about you.

b. Method #1 - EMAIL-BLAST: After you have clearly defined job requirements, a cover letter, and a resume, then email-blast them to every person in your LinkedIn contacts and your email address books.

After you do this, clear your calendar. The responses I got kept me chasing leads for at least six weeks.

c. Method #2 – Find a friend where it counts: When you are chasing an opportunity at a particular company, you cannot just send them a resume and wait. Many times when you send a resume to a company via their websites, it goes to either 1) a black hole or 2) an enormous pile of resumes. There is no guarantee that anyone will even see it. So use LinkedIn's search engine to find friends, or friends-of-friends at the company you are trying to get into. I believe that LinkedIn can even find 3^rd level connections (friends-of-friends-of-friends). Get a friend to introduce you - make a friendly contact inside the company - and then your chances are far better of landing the job.

4) Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

So, I was laid off on Dec 31^st. Then:

a. By Jan 15^th one company said "We need you, and you are virtually the only candidate." Rumors of an impending acquisition caused a hiring freeze.

b. By Feb 28^th I had 4 companies who said "We want to hire you, just as soon as <insert an out-of-my-control reason here>" Never got an offer from any of them.

c. In March, 1 more company said "You're perfect for the job!" No offer.

d. Later in March, 2 companies called me into their offices for interviews. They both said "We love you! Unfortunately we don't have any positions available. Sorry."

e. Also in March another company said "You're great – we want to interview you." I persisted through seven first-interview attempts. The first reschedule was my fault – car trouble kept me from making it. After that, it was all them. No-shows, last minute reschedules, calls from the emergency room. I persevered. Six weeks later I finally get into the office and am told "Well, the job title isn't accurate and we are looking for a more junior candidate. You are overqualified".

f. In April the same company says "We really like you and your name keeps coming up in our meetings regarding new initiatives. There may be possibilities." Never heard from them again.

g. In May I interviewed seven times with the same company. Rejected with no reason given.

h. In June a hiring manager said "You are the one. Expect an offer from us." The same day they announced a re-org and hiring was frozen. No offer.

i. Also in June I interviewed with another company who said "We love you, want to hire you, buuuuut…we have got to wait until some deals close." This time, however, they did call back two weeks later and made me an offer! Thanks Innovative Architects! I don't think that they have closed the deals yet.

5) Even if the repo man is in the parking lot taking your car away, maintain an optimistic image to your interviewers.

They can smell desperation on a job candidate, and it can frighten them away. Pretend if you have to. I got lots of compliments on my "positive outlook" and "great ability to cope with adversity", when on the inside I was saying "Please please pleeeeeeeeeeeease give me this job!" Oh yeah – no whining to the interviewers either. Save that for your friends and family. 

Also, don't be lured into whining by the question "so how are you finding the job market?" My answer: "It's definitely harder than it used to be, but there seem to be lots of opportunities available if you can navigate around the hiring freezes."

(for the record, the repo man was not in the parking lot waiting for me. Our cars may be well-used but they ARE paid for!)

6) Work your contacts AGAIN.

So you worked all of your contacts and still no job. It's been a couple of months. DO IT AGAIN. Stay on your friends and family. Everyone gets lax, and unless challenged, they think they have done all they can. But this time they may remember something that they didn't before.

I bring this up because it is (sorta) how I finally got a job. The poor guys in my ChristianRunners Bible study had heard this same prayer request from me week after week for six months. One night this caused Kirk to remember another friend of his in the I.T. business named Pat. Kirk contacted Pat, who didn't have a position for me. But apparently Kirk had said nice things about me because Pat forwarded my resume to a friend of his named Scott, who hired me.

Brad –> Kirk –> Pat –> Scott

7) Find an outlet – preferably a physical one and one in which you can have some success.

I thank God for tennis, literally. Just last summer I started playing again and it was a lifesaver when I got laid off. Exercise really helps me cope with stress, and the small but steady victories I have had boosted my ego when the job hunt was discouraging. "No one may want to hire me, but I sure can beat A and B and C in tennis!" The male ego is a fragile thing.

Just don't let it distract you from your primary purpose: finding a job!

8) Give yourself a break.

The chances of someone returning a call, or setting up an interview, or responding to an email about an open position are just about nil after lunch on Friday afternoon (or so I told myself). The kids were also napping then, which was convenient. So every Friday afternoon I would head to the tennis courts for a 3 ½ hr workout with the ball machine to excise all of the frustrations of the week. Or play a video game, or go to a matinee movie (cheaper, plus no babysitter required), or something like that. My break time helped me stay sane.

9) Give yourself a treat.

Find the cheapest hamburger or ice cream in town, so that you can indulge with a clear conscience. Ice cream cones at McDonald's are only $0.99. 

---------------------------------------------

So as you can see, the most important things to help you out when you get laid-off need to happen BEFORE you get laid-off. I hope this will help you prepare!

Email me if you have any questions.

Brad

Keeping Cool in KY

In June we traveled to Kentucky to visit family and host a wedding shower for a friend. It was really hot, but the kids kept cool by playing in the sprinkler!

New Blog You Should Try

Alright, hold onto your seats for this new blog recommendation:

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

It is a hilarious blog that often hits really close to home. Pay attention, and you will start noticing references to it in the media...

Don't miss the Full List of Stuff White People Like.

Did I mention that it hits close to home?

For Example:
#1 Coffee
#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside
#19 Traveling
#27 Marathons (or running...)
#28 Not having a TV (or only 9 channels)
#37 Renovations
#51 Living by the Water
#61 Bicycles
#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes

And those are the only ones I am confessing to right now!

:)

P.S. More baby pictures coming...

Catch-up Post #2: Sleeping Children

One night, Erin looked in on the kids. Brooke's blanket wasn't entirely covering her. So she moved it up...







...and discovered what the blanket was really being used for!

Bridger loves his jumper (well, he did until he learned to crawl). He especially loves how LOUD it is. It's *really* loud when he gets it rockin'.

One day, the jumper went strangely quiet...








And in his crib he only seems to feel comfortable when he just can't go any further. This is his typical sleeping position:


Our little explorer is already pushing his boundaries!

Catch Up Post #1: Family Camping Trip in May

In May we were bold and took our 3 year-old and 8 month-old camping! Many questioned our sanity, but we persevered.


Bridger liked to just hang out...



Our campsite at Desoto Falls State Park, north of Dahlonega, GA in the wonderful mountains...

Brooke doing what Brooke loves to do!

Happy campers!

The scenery was beautiful...

The kids were ... energetic

I had lots of help all weekend. Have you ever taken a Pack N Play on a camping trip?

Grandmother and Granddaddy were in the neighborhood, and stopped by for lunch.


We will do a LOT more camping - once Bridger gets older!

(Specific) Prayers for Soldiers in Iraq

If you want to pray more specifically for our men and women serving in Iraq, please visit the website below. It is specifically for the prayer requests of our church members/families who are serving in the military right now, and really humanizes the war effort. Thanks!

Fellowship Bible Church - Military Prayer Requests

Also, please remember to pray for Eric Maddox, who is "Mama Ford's" great-nephew. Eric is an Air Force helicopter pilot and has his own crew. He has been there one month and is not to return until sometime this fall.

More pictures coming soon, I promise!

So, what are the Hobbses doing these days?

Well, you may be wondering what the Hobbses are doing these days...

Bridger is crawling all over creation, trying to eat things that he shouldn't, and groooooowing (he is up to 21 lbs now!) Also, as of this week, we have liftoff! The boy has gone vertical and is now pulling up.

Brooke loves to tell Bridger what NOT to do ("No Bwidger, No!") and loves to "read" by herself in her room.

Lest you think she is too bookish, she also enjoys running through the house screaming at the top of her lungs, occasionally with a pair of panties on her head. She is NOT an introvert.


I am still looking for FTE (full-time employment). In the meantime I have picked up some contract work with SupportSoft, which are two tough balls to juggle at the same time. In addition I have contracted Tennis Elbow, which means no more tennis - my primary stress-relief at this time. So Bagheera and I just chill out by the fireplace a lot.



Erin just tries to keep the three of us happy, and has picked up some modeling business at the local used-car dealership to help us make ends meet.


So, where have we been? I have a very good reason for not posting more frequently on our blog - my cellphone made me do it! Seriously, I am a listmaker. If a task is not on my list then it doesn't get done. And I put "Update the blog" on my list TWICE, and set it recur each week. But when I synced my phone to my PC it mysteriously deleted random tasks - including this one. So I forgot about it. It's the truth. However, I am about done with that phone, and have re-added it to my tasklist, so you should see more posts coming from us. If not, then it's Erin's fault...